Why has it been such a long time since I've been on here? LIFE.
Seriously, so much life has been happening this year, it's insane. I feel like I've hardly had enough time to think and take it all in. So much of it seems so unreal. I think it's finally started to catch up with me though, since instead of being at work right now like I had planned, I am in bed with the stomach flu - perfect writing opportunity!
There have been a few moments here and there that have just been like, "Ok, life. I get it. Can you slow down a little? You may be overdoing it." There have been so many good life things and not so good ones, and it has been a little overwhelming.
Here's just some of the examples...
I'm playing Tzeitel in a production of Fiddler on the Roof on the 50th anniversary of the show under the direction of a New York guy who shared a dressing room with Topol. One of my best friends moved back, but started having health issues that she's never had to deal with before. I found out I qualified to submit a preliminary application for the Rhodes, Marshall, and Mitchell scholarships to possibly (very very very slight possibility) to go to grad school in the UK. My grandma is almost 90 and has been weaker than any of us have ever seen her before, so my mom is living with her right now. My dad is trying to get a new job off the ground. TONS of my friends (quite a few of whom are younger than me...) are getting engaged. Another friend of mine is a missionary with YWAM and is traveling all across the world. My older brother is planning on going to Spain to teach English this fall. My little brother is graduating high school. I'm graduating college.
Last night, as I was driving to go to swing dancing with my little brother, life kind of hit us in the face. He said something like, "Dag, yo. It's halfway through March," which led to "Dag, yo. It's halfway through the semester," which led to "Dag, yo. It's halfway through our last semester of high school/college," which led to "Dag, yo. I'm moving to LA in August," which led to incoherent-freak-out-kind-of-happiness-but-also-nostalgia-"I'm-gonna-miss-you-so-much-blubber-blubber-blubber"-fest-on-the-highway time.
I'm moving to LA in August.
By. Myself.
I was recently accepted for the Disney College Program for the upcoming fall semester. I'll be working costume crew, and hopefully, once the semester is over, auditioning for shows/parades - basically whatever I can get into to support my writing while I get myself established. That's the plan at the moment, anyway.
Sooooooo crazy exciting! Like, ahhhh! Dude! But at the same time, it's a little daunting, to say the least...okay, the very very least. Let's be real. It's terrifying.
And part of me wonders if it's really the right thing. If it's really going to happen. Am I supposed to leave everybody I know and go out and do this crazy fun thing? What if I'm really supposed to do something else? Stay here? Go be a humanitarian in some third-world country? Am I being selfish?
Truth is, I don't know. I can't know until I go out there and try things. This is just the beginning. Everybody has to go face the real world at some point, right? And everybody is different. Everyone's journey is different, and everyone has something unique that they can do to make the world a little better. I'm gonna go try to find mine.
And it's not like I'm going out of the country. This is the modern age of instantaneous communication! I'm so happy for Skype. All of you need to Skype me, k? K.
Hey, you know what I just found out? Tzeitel means "Princess." No, seriously, I just found that out. Crazy. Heeee :D Anyways...
You know, really, when you think about it, I guess running away to eventually become a Disney Princess may not exactly be the classic "growing up" move. But also, when you think about it, even though they're kid's movies, the Disney Princess movies are about just that - growing up. Something happens where things can't stay the same way that they've always been. Some scary, horrible, bad things happen too. That's where choices have to be made, courage has to be found, and the heroines face the impossible. But those things don't happen to put things back the way they were at the beginning of the story. Everything changes. It has to. Mulan has to save China!!!!
Yes. I know, okay? But you get my point.
Change is scary, but it's a good thing. I'm 22, I have to grow up sometime.
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Pff, just kidding. You guys know I'll never really grow up :P
Welp, in closing, I think it's appropriate that we take a little lesson from Fiddler, since it has been eating most of my life lately. We don't have to be afraid of changes and challenges. Even when your world gets turned upside down, you never stop being who you are. Take risks, push the status quo, but never give up on your family. After everything seems darkest, you can walk proudly into the future.
So, here's to Life. L'chaim.
